Philippians 4:19 NIV
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Have you ever struggled with having faith that God can do miracles for others but when it comes to your life, the lies and doubts from the enemy fills your mind? When my journey with the Lord ends, I am confident that he will not charge me for lack of faith in his ability to do or allow things to happen for the world and people around me. My struggle is, will he do it for me? During a recent transition in my life, the Lord taught me a lesson about my character that I will never forget.
God said to me Annaika, you are impatient! I had a similar encounter with God in 2015 while I was grieving and crying to God, he said Annaika your crying does not move me. A contrite and broken heart moves me. The Spirit asked me, what are you learning through this? It was obvious I did not trust that God would deliver me in my situation and made a decision that was with good intentions but was based on lack of trust and impatience. The consequences of my decision were not pleasant. I share this to say, eight years later I have failed the test again by allowing the enemy to convince me that God is set to make my life difficult through all my life struggles before he blesses me. Instead of focusing on expressing gratitude for all my deliverance, I became consumed with anxiety and started recalling all the obstacles that I had to overcome in my life before God answered my prayers. I went as far as comparing God's swift response to other people's prayers and requests, especially those who I think did not deserve the Lord’s quick deliverance. I was treading in a dangerous place in my mind and heart. The good news is God always finds a way to bring me back to his realm instead of lurking in Satan's realm. God showed me how my impatience brought me to the sin of envy. Envy is defined by "painful or awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage"(,Merriam webster.com). My desire to have God working quickly in my situation led me to envy the same advantage he has shown to others in their situation. God in his words warns us not to envy which can lead us away from his eternal Glory (Hebrews 13:5, proverbs 24:1, 1Peter 2:1, Proverbs 27:4, Proverbs 14:30, proverbs 23:17, James 3:16, etc.). As I reflect on my heart, it became clear my subtle impatient attitude toward God has led me to envy and be jealous over God's blessings in other people's life. Do I believe Philippians 4:19? Yes, I do! Not only do I believe it, I thank God for the Holy Spirit he allows to manifest in my life to reveal the condition of my heart so that I can ask for forgiveness and be healed. In Deuteronomy 10:14,
"To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it." I am not sure where you are in your faith in God as your protector and provider. I pray you live in the confidence of knowing not only will he supply all your needs, but he is also always on time and never late. His desire is to provide all your needs because everything belongs to him! Yes, even the heart and mind of men. Romans 8:27 says, "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God." He sees you and hears you. Hang in there, do not fall into Satan's trap.
